As odd as it may sound, one of the best things that ever happened was being stood up at a salsa club. I had always presumed I needed a companion to go to a nightclub, but that night when my girlfriend failed to show, I discovered I could safely and pleasurably navigate club space alone. The setting was a salon on Broadway. La Belle Epoque, reminiscent of Paris in the era of Art Nouveau, had a black and white tiled floor, small round tables, wicker-backed chairs and a wrought iron balcony. I had learnt the basics of salsa many years ago in a friend’s living room and fortunately retained enough to venture out on my own. Little did I know, as I dared the dance floor, that hypnotic magic was being invited into my body.

Sadly, la Belle Epoque eventually closed its doors to salsa, and the dance fell out of my routine for several years. It lingered however, in the shadows of my psyche, like a latent seed seeking fertile ground.

And then one evening at a New York dinner party I was introduced to George, the charming owner of a Latin dance school, Stepping Out Studios. My eyes widened and a smile erupted as George handed me a pass for one free month of classes. Perfect! I knew this signified the long-awaited return of salsa to my life.

This time, I decided I was going to take it more seriously. I sought proper salsa shoes and discovered they have soft suede soles that enclose the feet with a firm caress whilst gripping the dance floor with ferocity – and yet remain too delicate to be worn on the street. Equipped with new shoes and excitement, I was ready for class.

After completing one month of formal lessons, I had signed up for my second when a friend introduced me to a venue that has since become my second home: Taj Lounge on 21st street between 5th and 6th. It thrilled me from the moment I walked in. The decor is exotic and sensual. Large swatches of raw silk drape the room in rich color-saffron, crimson. Recessed booths piled with cushions are framed with ornate wooden latticework, circular tables proffer aromatic food and exotic Indian statues overlook the dance floor.

Since then I have returned every week to this place that feeds my hunger for movement: the salsa dance floor. Like great food, yoga and sex, salsa makes me feel ecstatic and alive. This “effect” is nothing less than trance. At the base of the music the drums weave a rhythmic web with beats that ensnare the dancer. They are designed to be hypnotic, allowing with the dance to continue forever. Overlaid are the melodies that repeat like mantras, deepening the hook the music has on the psyche. And why is this so important? Simply put, trance heals. In the depths of such a state, the whirring thoughts of the mind quiet and peace descends. It can feel like a wonderful relief. As I dance I feel the medicine of the music tranquillizing my frazzled mind and washing away layers of stress across my body. Salsa demands that I let go.

In essence the dance is a meditation in motion. Salsa draws its roots from the Earth-based spiritual tradition of Voodoo. This way of celebrating the divine focused more on what’s below the feet rather than in the sky. For them, where our feet kiss the Earth is the same level where plants take root, animals graze and we bury our dead. The salseros focus on the Earth because that is the source of life.

So back to the dance, each step of the feet on the floor is as deliberate as each sound of the drum. The rhythmic beating-feet on ground and hand on drum-remind us of where all life originates-Mother Earth. Salsa prompts us to pay attention to our hips and the raw energies that animate our bodies. The movement is inherently sexual, acknowledging we too are part of the reproductive world. It’s no wonder that here in the concrete jungle where the fertile Earth can seem far away and difficult to touch, that salsa feels so reassuring to me.

I was raised listening to classical music characterized by complex melodies that float to the sky, in the direction of a heavenly realm. Salsa, with its wild and wanton rhythms has an entirely different spiritual emphasis-it literally drums praise down into the Earth.

With salsa now lodged deeply inside, I have arranged my New York existence to encompass regular doses of this medicine. I am not just out at clubs or socials, I also attend classes. The school is a scene of its own. Don’t be fooled by the stereotype that Latin dance is only for Latinos. Every color and creed are present in New York salsa scene-united by the contagion of ecstasy bred by this dance. The technique is taught in bite-sized chunks, as with cookbooks that show if you read you can cook so too these instructors guarantee: if you can walk, you can dance. All it takes is showing up.

I return again each week, not just for hypnotic high, but the nourishment of the social environment. From castles to meadows, the practice of partner dancing pervades space and time as the ultimate model of etiquette between woman and man. It demonstrates how opposite sexes can relate in a synergistic, respectful, yet sensual way. This practice is particularly healthy in guiding men to treat women as artistic partners not sexual objects. All my salsa partners have been consummate gentlemen; the dance teaches skills that persist off the dance floor.

There are many other rituals going on outside of the dance itself. For example the practice of asking someone to dance, the subsequent acceptance or decline, the subtle signaling that one wants to be asked to dance, saying goodbye at the end and switching partners. It amazes me how I can dance intimately in the arms of a stranger for five minutes and then be passed along to another and another, all in complete safety. The yogic teachings of non-attachment and opening the heart are unwittingly woven into the Latin social structure.

Perhaps the absence of regular social dance while growing up is the reason we have so much social dysfunction these days, maybe we haven’t had the environment to practice behaviors that cultivate honest communication within a community and between genders.

In the movie “Take the Lead,” Antonio Bendaras’ character, Pierre Dulaine volunteers to teach Latin and ballroom dancing in NYC schools. When the relevance of his work to the average high school pupil is challenged by a narrow-minded teacher who threatens the future of his class, he explains the deeper benefits: “Now if your 16 year old daughter allows me to lead, she is trusting me, but more than that, she is trusting herself. And if she is strong, secure and trusts herself then how likely is she to let some idiot knock her up? And if your son can learn to touch women with respect, how will he treat women throughout his life? I teach dance, and with it a set of rules that will teach your children about trust, teamwork and dignity. And that will give them a vision of the future they will have.”

I appreciate Latin values for the importance given to dance. It delights me that the Latino mindset deems dance a necessary ingredient for the fullest expression of machismo. In salsa it appears that the man is leading, but energetically both create the dance. As Dulaine went on to say, “in salsa the man leads, or rather he proposes the step-it is the woman’s choice to follow.” The onus is on communicating beyond words. The overflow-as you learn to do that with another, so you learn to do it with yourself.

Partner dance fosters self-awareness in a way that is akin to yoga practice.

As I fall into beat with the music and my partner at once, I feel optimism flowering in me. These movements also deliver me to the same place an hour on my yoga mat does. I simply feel better about being alive, the small problems seem less bothersome, and the possibilities life offers me seem wider. I feel reminded that people can mix harmoniously and that happiness is our natural underlying state.

The perks are many and myriad-did I mention that salsa tones and defines abs, arms and shoulders? I could go on with more reasons to dance, but at this point, words have no meaning; you simply must surrender to the music and the raging call of your body’s desire to move with another.

In New York salsa music pours abundantly from live bands and DJs alike. Like a Latin mother’s milk, it nourishes communities and reignites their aliveness with an ecstatic marriage of percussion and melody. As dancers we become family on the dance floor. And as individuals we become peaceful, delighted, self-expressed and a celebration of ourselves.

© 2008 Jena la Flamme

For years I lamented not having a flat belly. On one level, vanity fueled my desire, but on a deeper level, I knew that my belly was synonymous with the center of my body and the center of my being. I knew that the journey to a flat belly would simultaneously lead me to be in alignment with my core self.

My suspicion that a weight loss odyssey would take me through deep waters ended up being proving correct. Every lesson that helped me sculpt away the excess around my waist, unveiling the flat belly that had been waiting for me underneath all along, had a distinct parallel in terms of fashioning a life for myself, which was true and authentic to who I am.

I came to discover that weight loss was not limited to wise choices in the area of food and exercise, and that relationships, sex, self-expression, career and pleasure, were all fair game in my flat belly adventure. Who would have thought? Not me! At the outset, I was stuck in the old school paradigm of “decrease calories in and increase calories out,” though when I really got into it, that concept turned out to be unhelpful at best.

Fortunately, however, the trail of breadcrumbs that did eventually lead me to a flat belly had nothing to do with dieting or “burning it off” in the gym, was not arduous, and was surprisingly easy and enjoyable once I found the keys that unlocked the metabolic mystery.

In this article I am going to share with you four surprising, pleasurable and unexpected ways to flatten your belly, which no one is talking about.

1. Consume Your Body’s Surprising Favorite Ingredient for a Flat Belly

You may have heard it said before, that your body can survive several weeks without food, several days without water, but only a few minutes without oxygen. Given that oxygen is therefore the most essential nutrient for our body, have you ever stopped to think about the role it might play in weight loss and melting belly fat?

It turns out, oxygen, yes plain, good old 02, which is free and available for anyone who is willing to simply flex their lung power, is your body’s favorite ingredient for a flat belly.

Wondering how this works? It’s like this. Just as wood in a fire requires oxygen to burn, so our bodies literally need oxygen to “burn” the food we put in our stomachs. The simple combination of oxygen plus food is what makes up 95% of the energy your body generates!

Food, without the oxygen it needs to burn, gives us nothing but extra weight to carry around. Although we obviously don’t stop breathing completely, in our modern, urban life, it is common to subsist with an unconscious pattern of shallow, rapid breaths. I know that until I was trained in deep breathing, my breath patterns were definitely so.

When you feel stressed out, be it by the day-to-day activities of life, or by restricting food as part of a diet, it only makes matters worse, as shallow breathing naturally accompanies stress. In this mode, your body’s internal digestive and fat burning “fire” literally dims due to lack of oxygen, and your desired flat belly becomes more and more of a pipe dream.

The good news is that even if we are stressed out, we can trick the body into thinking otherwise simply by breathing deeply. Just as blowing on a fire makes it burn brighter, so deep breathing stokes your own digestive fire, and with your inner oven roaring, a flat belly now becomes a realistic goal.

When you mix your food with high doses of oxygen, you create the optimal condition for boosting your metabolism, and along with it, raise your fat burning capability.

Here’s how to do it: Before you eat, STOP, and breathe. Without picking up the fork, breathe for as long as it takes you to reach a slow, deep breathing rhythm. If you are already relaxed, three breaths may be enough. If you are feeling highly strung, it may take a few more. Give yourself those breaths no matter what. Rest assured, you deserve it. As you breathe you’ll start to smell the food, which is also good for your digestive power, giving your digestive juices a moment to prepare.

Then, as you begin to eat, continue to breath mindfully. Breathe through your nose as your mouth will be busy chewing your food! It’s as simple as that. A very easy technique, which is free and anyone can do, and generates amazing results.

One of my clients, Belinda, was astounded at how her morning routine transformed with the addition of this simple technique. A successful attorney, she began her days multi-tasking at breakfast, reading the paper as she ate. She would eat both cereal and eggs and would still leave the table dissatisfied, wanting seconds yet resisting the urge. In addition to following my instruction to breathe mindfully, she decided to forgo the paper until later. Too her great surprise, she found that she was aware of much more flavor, and experienced an exponentially greater degree of pleasure from the same food she’d been eating for years. Furthermore, she noticed she was full after eating half as much as she usually ate. Over time, she consistently felt lighter and more energized, and soon her pants felt looser.

Try it for yourself. You’ll digest better, you’ll taste more of your food, you’ll be satisfied more quickly, and you’ll ramp up your fat burning capability. Few of us know that when you breathe more, you burn more. Now that you know the secret, don’t squander it, breathe!

Eat what you want and get a flat belly? It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? But if you know your desires deeply enough, it actually works. The trick to eating what you want and losing weight at the same time, is that you have to be willing to get to know your desires really well. And in order to that, you need to be in a relaxed state.

Here’s an analogy. Imagine yourself in your most stressed out state. Whatever is on your mind – work, the kids, or your allegedly disappointing body – is making you chomp at the bit of life and froth at the mouth. Out of the blue someone asks you, “I’d like to give you a gift. What would you like?”

Chances are, that unless you have a pre-meditated answer, you would either draw a blank or come up with a superficial desire, such as “a can of soda.” On the other hand, if you were truly relaxed and had time to feel into the question, you’d hear beyond your surface wishes, to your true, deeper longings and respond with a great answer.

The same goes for food. If you come home all frazzled and ask yourself, “what do I want to eat?” you will get an answer that is about two inches deep. It may likely be a high carb or high fat, low nutrient treat of some sort.

On the other hand, if you sit down, have a glass of water, relaaaax, and then ask yourself, “what do I want to eat?” you are going to get a totally different answer because this answer will have true depth.

“A lush, colorful salad with fresh greens, some tasty protein and a wholesome carb,” your body might say

at this point. Try it for yourself and see.

Again and again, as I teach my clients to listen more deeply to the true desires of their body, and to their great surprise, the longings they report are for healthy, fresh foods, the exact types that melt away fat and unveil a flat belly.

The simple truth is, your body wants to lose weight just as much as you do. Your body’s true desire is to feel energized and alive, and if you are eating, nutrient-void, sugary or fatty junk food it is not what your body wants.

For Deborah, a seasoned communications professional, the bane of her year was ghostwriting a bi-annual report on her boss’s voice. In preparation, she had a ritual of binging in a host of sugary, fatty treats, which numbed out her anxieties about the project and gave her an excuse to procrastinate.

We had been working on her attending to her desires for some time when the dreaded report came around again. Just as she was on the brink of diving into her old pattern again, she remembered our talks and decided to stop and tune in to what she really wanted. “A glass of water, some fresh fruit and a walk around the block,” piped up a voice from within. She heeded the impulse and when she finally sat down to write, she found this the least painful major report she’s ever written.

Weeks later she was shopping for clothes on the Internet and bought her usual size out of habit. To her delight, when the clothes arrived she had to send them back as they were a full size too big. What was truly delightful about it was that she hadn’t controlled her appetite, nor had she restricted herself. The physical change she was seeing had come from listening more deeply to her longings and being true to the desires she uncovered, a pleasurable and sustainable strategy.

Relax into the moment, however, listen to the desires of your body, and your instinct will pave the way to the flat belly and slender body that awaits you.

3. Why Stress Will Ruin Your Belly and its Pleasurable Antidote

Stress, stress, stress. We all know it ever more intimately as time goes by. It may seem obvious that if you are stressed out and you react by taking solace in junk food or overeating, this will swerve your predictable path away from a flat belly future. But the plot may be thicker than you think.

Did you know that if even if you eat something as innocuous as a carrot stick, and you’re stressed out, that it can still cause you to pack on the pounds?

Why is this so? It has nothing to do with the calories in the food. It’s about the metabolic environment within your own body, which dictates what your body does with the nutrients that enter it.

It goes like this. The stress response triggers the stress hormone cortisol, among many others. Cortisol in turn boosts another hormone, insulin, and insulin signals the body to do three important things that are the enemy of a flat belly: (i) to stop burning fat (ii) to stop building muscle and (iii) to store more fat!

The logic goes that even if you are eating something relatively healthy, by stressing out for one reason or another – be it about your job, your guy, your weight or anything else – for 85% of the population, the body will gain weight, not lose it. But before you get mad at your body, and generate even more stress, trust me, there is wisdom in your body’s inner workings, it just takes looking at the big picture to see it.

When you are under stress your body literally thinks your life is in danger. When it feel stress, it doesn’t distinguish between a real danger or one you have invented in your head. Your body thinks the equivalent of a hungry saber-tooth tiger may be rapidly approaching and it will do everything it can to save your life. To do this, it pumps blood to your arms and legs for fast fighting or fleeing, and to your brain for fast thinking. That means that blood rushes away from the fat burning and muscle toning functions, the body’s way of prioritizing “surviving” over “sculpting.”

There’s no use in blaming the body for its survival instincts, they’ve been operating for millions of years and they aren’t going anywhere. However you can use your understanding of the situation to enlist the antidote.

I call it R & P: Relaxation and Pleasure. Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes the stress response melt away like relaxation and pleasure.

4. How Pleasure Can Be Your Secret, Insider Weight Loss Weapon

Pleasure, beloved pleasure. We all love it yet sadly few of us realize how healthy pleasure actually is. Pleasure, when embraced without fear, is your secret, insider weapon for an effortless flat belly.

Why? Because of the very important role it plays in the workings of your metabolism. Whereas stress extinguishes digestive and fat burning powers like a bucket of cold water, pleasure amps up the heat. Pleasure tells your body that its survival is not at threat, that no fighting or fleeing are required, and that it is a good time to digest well, get the most nutrition possible out of the food, and burn of the excess.

The way to experience the most pleasure is to bring all of your senses to the table. Not only your taste buds, but the senses that take in the look, smell and texture of the food too. When you do so, your built-in body wisdom rears up in full force. In this mode, where pleasure is a priority, your body will quickly let you know if the food is nutritionally inadequate by showing a lack of satisfaction with and interest in empty calories that have little to offer.

On the other hand, eat healthy, nutritious, naturally flavorsome fare in this state, and your body will give you a clear sign that it likes what you are doing. How? By giving you the positive feedback of even more pleasure, in this case, lasting pleasure. Healthy food gives the gift of sustained high energy, whereas nutrient-void, processed foods give only a short-term rush followed by an unpleasant crash.

There are multiple other metabolic reasons to adopt pleasure as a weight loss strategy, but I will leave you with one final takeaway.

Start to trust your pleasure. If there’s something you love, embrace your love for it, and become a stranger to guilt. Guilt, being a stressful emotion, raises cortisol levels, the hormonal enemy of a flat belly.

Even if you think there’s no way your favorite chocolate cake could be helping your weight loss mission, bring all your senses to the table and savor it. Let your body relax into the experience and eat only the amount that is wonderfully pleasurable for you. When it stops tasting exquisitely pleasurable and exactly what your desire is calling for, stop eating. Until that point enjoy. Breathing as you eat will help you do this.

Eliza, a self-employed entrepreneur and mom, had been telling her friends that she was working with a weight loss coach and had been losing a few pounds. She scoffed at her friends on a weekend away when out came a cake and they told her, “you can’t have any, you’re on a weight loss program, right?”

“You really don’t get it,” she said. “Jena would approve 100% of me having this cake, as long as I truly enjoy it. She refused to react to their provocations, side-stepped the “guilt booby trap” they appeared to be laying for her, and ate just as much cake as gave her pleasure, without causing bloating or doing any harm to her waistline.

Keep applying these principles to all the meals and foods you eat. Consume your body’s favorite ingredient, oxygen, in liberal amounts. Get to know your deepest desires so that you don’t eat what you don’t really want. Understand the weight loss villain, stress. And use pleasure daily as your secret weapon for weight loss. Follow these easy guidelines and you may be surprised how soon a flat belly is yours.

Hi everyone,

Former Business Week journalist and ABC Foreign Correspondent, Scott Shuster said of this audio, “Jena, I absolutely adore your “4 Unexpected Ways.”  Brilliant!  I am implementing all recommendations in my own life immediately!  I will be sharing this with my 21 year old daughter, as well as with my business partner. The concepts are so original that I also would not be surprised if the New York Times snapped this up.”

If you want to stop fighting with food and weight, here’s your access to your f*ree audio, “The 4 Unexpected Ways to Flatten Your Belly Fast” CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OR PLAY IT HERE

Don’t miss this chance to get my surprising, pleasurable and unexpected weight loss secrets for free and learn:

- the part “PLEASURE” plays in weight loss
- how to harness your body’s built in fat-burning powers
- the taste sensations that assist slimming
- something you can do, even in the office, that helps kick cravings

I look forward to hearing your comments.

Warmly,

Jena

Have you even wondered which helps you lose weight faster,
eating meat or going vegetarian?

Which one is the most healthy? Or which one is more spiritual?

Then you don’t want to miss this free teleclass because the
answer may shock you!

Free Teleclass: “The Great Meat Debate – Do The
Vegetarians or Meat Eaters Win?”
Rose Cole, who you have noticed lately that I am a HUGE
fan of, is hosting this dynamic debate.

http://www.rosecole.com/teleclass-1

Mark your calendar for this one! This is a heated topic, and
the last free teleclass she did had 400 people on it and not
everyone could get on!

This Free Teleclass is January 26th at 6:00 PST. After you
sign up she’ll send you the call in instructions.

http://www.rosecole.com/teleclass-1

I’d be curious to hear which side of the fence you land on after the debate.

You may know that I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions.

Here’s why.
Firstly, the word “resolution” sounds so darn resolute,
it reminds me of tightly pursed lips and knees that never
part! It makes me want to revolt against the stipulations,
not comply.

“Resolution” sounds like institution — what I’m looking for is inspiration.

Being “resolute” sounds stiff and fixed — what I want it to
be juicy and in the flow.

If you’re nodding your head, then I wouldn’t recommend
wasting your time or energy with them. Instead, I’m going
to tell you about something FAR, FAR better than resolutions,
that amps me up with excitement and inspiration.

Instead of New Year’s Resolutions, I call it New Year’s Eve
Dreams, meaning the dreams that I would like to have
brought into reality by December 31 of the coming New Year.

Here’s a short VIDEO to show you exactly how to do
it yourself.

This simple, yet powerful exercise fits in with my overall
approach to weight loss, where there’s no more pushing
and shoving of your body down a painful and punishing
road of dieting, and lots more connection with your body
and your true desires.

If this approach has appeal to you, then you’re going to
love the new offering, coming soon in January. It’s a program
which will show you the easy and pleasurable steps for making
your weight loss dreams a reality.

I’m putting together the finishing touches right now and can’t
wait to get your feedback.
I close the year with a toast to all the amazing people,
opportunities, joys and transformation you will have brought
into your life by this time next year, New Year’s Eve, 2010/2011.